"Joseph!" He never liked his name. It started with a 'J'. 'Jobless', 'Jobseeker', 'Jocasta' and all the words that sent a shudder down his spine usually started with the alphabet 'J'. And then there was Julianne. The light in his life. The dark light.
She was a dark light as far as he was concerned for he was too timid to shed some light on his fancy for her. And she, was too short-sighted to see the light herself. But that was fine with Good Ol' Jose. He wasn't finicky as far as his options in life were concerned. He had lowered his needs to such abysmal depths that they were met to begin with. One such need was the urge to smoke. He smoked when he was not asleep. Matt put the cigarette butt in his mouth one day while he was asleep. That, of course made him wake up. The fact that he'd been dreaming about Julie upset him, but that was soon puffed-off with Benson & Hedges. Cigarettes are better than women, he tried convincing himself.
"Yeah, Right!"
Jose, by nature, was the sequacious kind. He owed his sorry state of affairs to the people he tried to emulate. There was nothing wrong with the people he tried to follow. It was something inherent. Joseph, as it turned out, was pretty bad at following suit too.
"You're supposed to play Spade, Jose!"
"Oh! Am I?"
"And call a Spade a spade for chrissake!"
"Was that a pun?"
"No. That was just plain stupid!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Why're you getting all worked up, man?"
"Because, you're getting on my nerves!"
"You not feeling well?"
"That's it, I'm outta here. I don't intend to stay at a place where my jokes aren't appreciated. You're out of order!!"
"All That Glitters Is Not Gold, John!"
"Who the hell's John?"
"John Woo!"
"Who?"
"The movie man!"
"The movie man?"
"Yes. The famous movie maker!"
"Whatever, Whoever! I'm outta here!"
"You can't just leave in the middle of the game. That so doesn't do it!"
"Et tu, Jul(ie)?"
"What did I say? Just said you shouldn't leave in the middle of the game! Is that a bad thing to say?"
"Not a bad thing, but definitely not a tactful thing to say!"
Kumar was that way. He spoke things he didn't really mean. And he didn't always say what he meant. Not that he was unable to express himself. It was just his discretion that he be who he wasn't. Ethan Hunt. His life was Mission: Impossible. He wanted it that way because Mission: Possible, never raised enough eye-brows and wasn't a flick either! He'd never heard anyone ever say, "But that is possible!" Although he'd heard people say, "But that's impossible!" almost all his life. Impossibility always brings with it, its own charm. He'd wanted to be a charmer all his life - & he was. Chicks would dig him. Yearn for him tragically. But the real irony of life was - he getting together with someone was impossible. That was his mission in life, after all.
Of course, he finished the game that day. Won hands down. The usual. The prize money? Date-Your-Fate!
Each one had written his/her secret date on a piece of paper and kept it in a bowl. The winner got to go out on a date with someone he/she wished to go out with. Kumar hadn't mentioned a nominee. He wanted to go out with all of them. Mission: Impossible, huh? Well, not really! They did go out with him that evening. Turned out pretty good. Julie got to spend the evening with Matt, Jose with Julie, Matt with Kumar (don't read between the lines, please! They're just good buddies and Kumar is straight. So is Matt!)
On their way back, Kumar insisted they play Hindi songs on the tape - which of course was totally fine with the folks. Songs don't make a dime's difference when you're sloshed silly.
"Will someone turn this thing off!". Julie wasn't too tipsy to tell the words of the song. This song didn't have words. At least not words she could comprehend.
"Hey, this *is* good stuff, okay!"
"Totally!"
"You're impossible!"
"Watch it, Kum. Watch it!", Kumar told himself. She's drunk and so are you.
"Oh, my God! Who's driving?", he screamed as soon as reality dawned on him.
"Relax. Joe is!"
"And she tells me to relax!"
"He's a good driver, Ku!"
"And I'm gay, Jul!"
"Wow, really?"
Kumar, now stabbing himself with a mock-dagger and apparently, very furious.
"Hell, no! Phhhhhtttb!!"
And they all got to their apartment. All but Kumar. But it was okay cause he was spending the night with Matt (again, don't get any ideas, please)
She was a dark light as far as he was concerned for he was too timid to shed some light on his fancy for her. And she, was too short-sighted to see the light herself. But that was fine with Good Ol' Jose. He wasn't finicky as far as his options in life were concerned. He had lowered his needs to such abysmal depths that they were met to begin with. One such need was the urge to smoke. He smoked when he was not asleep. Matt put the cigarette butt in his mouth one day while he was asleep. That, of course made him wake up. The fact that he'd been dreaming about Julie upset him, but that was soon puffed-off with Benson & Hedges. Cigarettes are better than women, he tried convincing himself.
"Yeah, Right!"
Jose, by nature, was the sequacious kind. He owed his sorry state of affairs to the people he tried to emulate. There was nothing wrong with the people he tried to follow. It was something inherent. Joseph, as it turned out, was pretty bad at following suit too.
"You're supposed to play Spade, Jose!"
"Oh! Am I?"
"And call a Spade a spade for chrissake!"
"Was that a pun?"
"No. That was just plain stupid!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Why're you getting all worked up, man?"
"Because, you're getting on my nerves!"
"You not feeling well?"
"That's it, I'm outta here. I don't intend to stay at a place where my jokes aren't appreciated. You're out of order!!"
"All That Glitters Is Not Gold, John!"
"Who the hell's John?"
"John Woo!"
"Who?"
"The movie man!"
"The movie man?"
"Yes. The famous movie maker!"
"Whatever, Whoever! I'm outta here!"
"You can't just leave in the middle of the game. That so doesn't do it!"
"Et tu, Jul(ie)?"
"What did I say? Just said you shouldn't leave in the middle of the game! Is that a bad thing to say?"
"Not a bad thing, but definitely not a tactful thing to say!"
Kumar was that way. He spoke things he didn't really mean. And he didn't always say what he meant. Not that he was unable to express himself. It was just his discretion that he be who he wasn't. Ethan Hunt. His life was Mission: Impossible. He wanted it that way because Mission: Possible, never raised enough eye-brows and wasn't a flick either! He'd never heard anyone ever say, "But that is possible!" Although he'd heard people say, "But that's impossible!" almost all his life. Impossibility always brings with it, its own charm. He'd wanted to be a charmer all his life - & he was. Chicks would dig him. Yearn for him tragically. But the real irony of life was - he getting together with someone was impossible. That was his mission in life, after all.
Of course, he finished the game that day. Won hands down. The usual. The prize money? Date-Your-Fate!
Each one had written his/her secret date on a piece of paper and kept it in a bowl. The winner got to go out on a date with someone he/she wished to go out with. Kumar hadn't mentioned a nominee. He wanted to go out with all of them. Mission: Impossible, huh? Well, not really! They did go out with him that evening. Turned out pretty good. Julie got to spend the evening with Matt, Jose with Julie, Matt with Kumar (don't read between the lines, please! They're just good buddies and Kumar is straight. So is Matt!)
On their way back, Kumar insisted they play Hindi songs on the tape - which of course was totally fine with the folks. Songs don't make a dime's difference when you're sloshed silly.
"Will someone turn this thing off!". Julie wasn't too tipsy to tell the words of the song. This song didn't have words. At least not words she could comprehend.
"Hey, this *is* good stuff, okay!"
"Totally!"
"You're impossible!"
"Watch it, Kum. Watch it!", Kumar told himself. She's drunk and so are you.
"Oh, my God! Who's driving?", he screamed as soon as reality dawned on him.
"Relax. Joe is!"
"And she tells me to relax!"
"He's a good driver, Ku!"
"And I'm gay, Jul!"
"Wow, really?"
Kumar, now stabbing himself with a mock-dagger and apparently, very furious.
"Hell, no! Phhhhhtttb!!"
And they all got to their apartment. All but Kumar. But it was okay cause he was spending the night with Matt (again, don't get any ideas, please)
No comments:
Post a Comment