Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part-VI

Kumar had been playing that song on his iPod over and over again, all day long. Matt had fallen for the very mellifluous song that this was.
"Will you lower the volume of that thing? Whats the big idea of having an iPod if you're gonna play it full blast on some goddamned speakers and not use an earphone?"
It was funny to see an adult goose-stepping around the house rambling and in endless pursuit of something. What exactly he was looking for was beyond Ku, Jose or Julie.
"Julie, honey! You have cotton-balls, sweetheart? I'd do anything for cotton-balls now!"
"Really? Anything??"
"Cross my heart and hope to die!"
"Awwwwww, thats soooo sweet, you moron! I don't have any. Not for you anyway!", she'd started saying it like it had melted her heart and ended up like she had never had one in the first place.
"Et tu Julie?"
"What is with you guys and Shakespeare, today?"
There was one thing that Kumar's lucky-poker-game had done to the roomies. It had brought them closer. Like they never were. Its funny what a card-game can do to people. Or a bottle of Jose Querve, for that matter!
"Say, you've been listening to that song all day, Kumar! What is it all about?"
"It speaks of a guys immense love for his beloved"
"Awwww, thats so touching!"
"Tsk. Its not even physical!", he said mocking at her.
"You can kill with your not-so-funny-jokes, Kumar!"
"Thats the idea!", he said for that was indeed the idea. Mission: Impossible.
Joseph had been quiet all this while. Nothing bothered good ol' Jose once he'd decided nothing would bother him. He had decided he wouldn't let anything bother him tonight. He'd found himself squeezed into a tiny space in the morning from the night before. Tiring-Sleep.
Although he gave away an impression of being asleep, he was up. All night. Thinking of things he had no control over. People who he loved dearly and people who loved him back. There weren't many who did that which made the task all the more tiring. Then there was Julie. Lately he had been getting hints about her inclinations. He'd decided to give her the space she needed.
"Say Julie, would you mind if I sat here?"
"Why would I mind, Jose. Sit down. And don't be ridiculous, all right?"
"Hmmm"
"Hmmm?"
"Hmmm!"
"Aah, I give up!"
"You quiting already Jul?", said Kumar with the toothiest-grin ever.
"I need to catch up on my sleep"
"Night Guys!"
"She's lost all sense of time!", Matt quipped
"Still haven't lost my senses though!"

Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part-V

"C'est la vie, baby!", said Julianne, almost kid-like trying to cover-up what she'd just said. It wasn't that she hadn't called a girl a bitch before, it was just that she'd never meant it before. They knew she'd meant it, although she told them otherwise. Sometimes you just know when words are really meant and then sometimes, you don't. But anyway..
"Don't just say that just cause its French! Its for losers who can't do a bit about their life."
"Well, thanks a lot for calling me a loser!! But I know I am one - so tell me something I don't know."
"Jealousy doesn't become you, just as this new head-over-heals-guy doesn't become Kumar!"
"Yeah, seriously. I don't know where this jealousy stems from, but whatever it is it can't be true cause you're way better than Ms. Ana Dawson. Way Better!"
Julie fought back tears from her eyes, succeeding only partially. She'd never been complimented (No, eve-teasing doesn't count as a compliment). 22 years without a compliment is a long time! And it was one of the wonders of the modern world how everyone who knew her knew she was pretty but never thought she was pretty enough to fall for, when actually she was absolutely fall-able! C'est la vie, eh?
Julianne had had enough. She couldn't take it anymore. She lunged forward and gave Kumar a tight hug and said "Thanks Kumar, that meant a lot."
"Ok, Ok. Let's not get carried away. But I meant what I said and I'm sure everyone here feels the same way."
"Absolutely!", said everyone in unison.
"Thanks. I'll make coffee for each one of you..", said Julie jubilantly.
"Make mine a black.", said Matt with a wink. He'd acquired this weird (but totally cute) habit of giving her a wink each time he spoke to her. Or maybe it was just all the Jose Cuervo.
"I'll have two cubes of sugar and precisely 5.43 oz. of coffee in a cup with very little cream."
"You got Nescafe decaff? Cause any other brand is not my cup of tea. Ooops coffee!", ginned Kumar from ear to ear. He enjoyed his jokes almost as much as anyone else.
"...in the morning!", continued Julianne.
"Hey! What the f...!", said everyone in unison, again.
"Yeah. Yeah, thats right! What the f...!! I was just trying to get you guys back sober again."
"You mean, we're *not* sober now? That does it! I'm having more Johnnie Walker!"
"We don't have anymore of those! We got a bottle of Jose Cuervo though!", grinned Joseph.
"Nice!!"
"Care for a drink, Julie?"
"Ah, what the heck. Make mine a double. I'm in the mood for mischief!" It was her turn to grin now.
"You know what they do to mischievous chaps? They send them to the room!"
"Awwww man! Please!!"
"We only have enough for the four of us. If you're game for a single shot you have a deal"
"Yippieeeeeeeee!!"
"Welcome aboard sailor!
Oh. Welcome again, I mean!!", corrected Jose.
They all gulped shots of tequila, together. They'd had too much to drink. There are a few things that drinking does to people. Getting tipsy is one. Getting droopy and sleepy is another. They all fell asleep. It was quite a sight. Kumar, who looked like one of those people on the streets who're forced into changing their body structure with the kind of space nature lends them. Only this vegabond had a shiny new digital camera in his left hand, clutched to his chest. He kept making motions with his other hand, in his sleep, probably fighting ghosts who were after his camera.
Matt fell asleep sitting on his chair, with his head resting on the table, as was the case most of the times when he stayed online late and didn't have the vigor to get his bottom off the chair and put himself to bed.
Joseph, however clumsy in real-life (read daylight), was most comfortably placed. Two pillows - one under his head and the other clutched to his chest like some fairy he wouldn't let go off.
And then there was Julianne. Head back, arms wide open (as if expecting a prince charming to come give her a tight hug), legs hanging from the bed for she was only half-way up. All in all, the room would've been a pretty hilarious sight to anyone who would've laid eyes on it. Fortunately, there was no one around. You see, it is kinda tasking trying to get some sleep when people are laughing and giggling in the same room.

Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - IV

"Why do you hate her, Julie?"
"Hate? Who??", really surprised that that word was indeed used in conjunction with her name.
"Ana Dawson."
"That girl who kept flirting with you in the library that day?"
"Ummm... Yes. If you see it that way."
"I hardly know her to hate her. I was just got pissed off at her because she woke me up, figuratively."
"Oh! That way. I thought.."
"Holy Crap! So, you're thinking now?"
"Shut up!"
Kumar bend over and gave her a light hug. "Thank you!"
"What was that for?"
"For saying you don't hate her even though we know you do. Thanks!"

Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - III

Night turned to morn sooner than anyone had expected. Julianne had fallen asleep while the guys were still talking about how Kumar's new camera could get 15 times closer to its subject without him having to move an inch. She'd just about managed not to fall asleep while they (read Matt!) talked about his music collection. Of course, most of it was courtesy the internet. All right, all right - Kumar had to help her in the ordeal she'd made it look. That of course meant, Kumar was no longer helping when they started talking about his camera, cause he was too busy showing it off!
"She's a great girl! Funny, classy, intelligent, you name it. She is definitely my type!!"
"Who're you referring to, Ku?"
"Ana."
"Anna?"
"Ana. Ana Dawson."
"Yeah, right. Your type. Hah!"
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"A Cut Above!"
"That is some cheap cigarette brand back home, you dimwit!"
"Cheap? You get cigarettes cheap back home? Really??"
"Oh! Shut Up!!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Thats not becoming you. You're atop all this, remember?"
"Atop? Well, I'd really appreciate if I were on top of her right now!"
"Excuse Moi?". Julie was harshly woken up by the furious hand movements (and furious table-banging) that Kumar had resorted to, to emphasize the 'right now!'
"French dreams, eh?", winked Matt
"You stay out of this. And why would you care?", sneered Julie
Matt left without a word. Nothing much was said after he left. It was like a 10 week vacation coming to an abrupt end.
"Whats the matter? Anybody dead that we know?", said Matt cheerfully as soon as he got back.
"Where had you gone, man?"
"To the loo, you looby!"
"Hah Hah Hah! And here we were thinking you had taken offense at Julie's outburst!"
"I'm sorry, I snapped at you. Didn't mean to."
"I know what you meant. Its ok. I suppose it was a French nightmare, huh?", winked Matt
Julie couldn't help but fall in love all over again. It was one of the things she admired about Matt the most. His you-don't-hurt-me-try-as-you-might attitude.
"You're ok, man?"
"Ana..........!!!", he sighed. For the fourteenth time in five minutes.
"Dawson?", asked Julie with some concern. And genuine too.
"What now, honey?", half expecting a biography on the life and times of Miss. Ana Dawson.
"I hate that bitch!", she blurted out in an accent that no one would've associated with her. But such is life. Unpredictable.

Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - II

"Joseph!" He never liked his name. It started with a 'J'. 'Jobless', 'Jobseeker', 'Jocasta' and all the words that sent a shudder down his spine usually started with the alphabet 'J'. And then there was Julianne. The light in his life. The dark light.
She was a dark light as far as he was concerned for he was too timid to shed some light on his fancy for her. And she, was too short-sighted to see the light herself. But that was fine with Good Ol' Jose. He wasn't finicky as far as his options in life were concerned. He had lowered his needs to such abysmal depths that they were met to begin with. One such need was the urge to smoke. He smoked when he was not asleep. Matt put the cigarette butt in his mouth one day while he was asleep. That, of course made him wake up. The fact that he'd been dreaming about Julie upset him, but that was soon puffed-off with Benson & Hedges. Cigarettes are better than women, he tried convincing himself.
"Yeah, Right!"
Jose, by nature, was the sequacious kind. He owed his sorry state of affairs to the people he tried to emulate. There was nothing wrong with the people he tried to follow. It was something inherent. Joseph, as it turned out, was pretty bad at following suit too.
"You're supposed to play Spade, Jose!"
"Oh! Am I?"
"And call a Spade a spade for chrissake!"
"Was that a pun?"
"No. That was just plain stupid!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Why're you getting all worked up, man?"
"Because, you're getting on my nerves!"
"You not feeling well?"
"That's it, I'm outta here. I don't intend to stay at a place where my jokes aren't appreciated. You're out of order!!"
"All That Glitters Is Not Gold, John!"
"Who the hell's John?"
"John Woo!"
"Who?"
"The movie man!"
"The movie man?"
"Yes. The famous movie maker!"
"Whatever, Whoever! I'm outta here!"
"You can't just leave in the middle of the game. That so doesn't do it!"
"Et tu, Jul(ie)?"
"What did I say? Just said you shouldn't leave in the middle of the game! Is that a bad thing to say?"
"Not a bad thing, but definitely not a tactful thing to say!"
Kumar was that way. He spoke things he didn't really mean. And he didn't always say what he meant. Not that he was unable to express himself. It was just his discretion that he be who he wasn't. Ethan Hunt. His life was Mission: Impossible. He wanted it that way because Mission: Possible, never raised enough eye-brows and wasn't a flick either! He'd never heard anyone ever say, "But that is possible!" Although he'd heard people say, "But that's impossible!" almost all his life. Impossibility always brings with it, its own charm. He'd wanted to be a charmer all his life - & he was. Chicks would dig him. Yearn for him tragically. But the real irony of life was - he getting together with someone was impossible. That was his mission in life, after all.
Of course, he finished the game that day. Won hands down. The usual. The prize money? Date-Your-Fate!
Each one had written his/her secret date on a piece of paper and kept it in a bowl. The winner got to go out on a date with someone he/she wished to go out with. Kumar hadn't mentioned a nominee. He wanted to go out with all of them. Mission: Impossible, huh? Well, not really! They did go out with him that evening. Turned out pretty good. Julie got to spend the evening with Matt, Jose with Julie, Matt with Kumar (don't read between the lines, please! They're just good buddies and Kumar is straight. So is Matt!)
On their way back, Kumar insisted they play Hindi songs on the tape - which of course was totally fine with the folks. Songs don't make a dime's difference when you're sloshed silly.
"Will someone turn this thing off!". Julie wasn't too tipsy to tell the words of the song. This song didn't have words. At least not words she could comprehend.
"Hey, this *is* good stuff, okay!"
"Totally!"
"You're impossible!"
"Watch it, Kum. Watch it!", Kumar told himself. She's drunk and so are you.
"Oh, my God! Who's driving?", he screamed as soon as reality dawned on him.
"Relax. Joe is!"
"And she tells me to relax!"
"He's a good driver, Ku!"
"And I'm gay, Jul!"
"Wow, really?"
Kumar, now stabbing himself with a mock-dagger and apparently, very furious.
"Hell, no! Phhhhhtttb!!"
And they all got to their apartment. All but Kumar. But it was okay cause he was spending the night with Matt (again, don't get any ideas, please)

Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - I

Mathew Planc was an agreeable, 25 year old chap whos idea of a good time was sitting around in the house doing nothing at all! He was agreeable because he inevitably made people agree at how big a jack-ass he was. Julianne, the first of his room-mates was totally in love with him.
"That rat-bastard! What does he think of himself? He can go to hell all right!", said Julie to herself after Matt had gone into one of his 'i'll-stay-in-my-room' shells and refused to go out with her. "I'd rather go to hell Julianne! Than go out with you, really!"
Julianne Smith was a sweet girl, all of 22 - although she had the knack of make-believing she was a teen, which she had been once upon a time. She loved country music as much as she liked her assets. In fact it was greatly bemusing as to how a girl as pretty as her would end up falling head over heels for a mediocre guy like Matt. It was just there for all to see. All but Joseph.
Jose, was an old man. He'd been born old. But the good thing about his being born old was that he didn't age much. Or even if he did, his birth certificate said otherwise. And of course, his birth certificate like every other of his belongings was immaculate and spoke of the truth at all times. He was a 24 year old guy who thought he'd outgrown his age 24 years back. Good Ol' Jose, as he was affectionately called by his friends and roomies, was well-read. Being well read is a good thing if you read all the right things. A practical joke that nature had played on him. And a hilarious one at that! Of course, like every other serious book-worms, the humour eluded him perennially. He often felt the urge to feel sorry for himself. "Why me?", he'd say when it rained on him. When the sun shone on him. When the wind blew his hair - which, by the way, was a sorry sight for he didn't have a lot of shoots popping outta his scalp, which was just okay with him as long as the wind Gods didn't play foul. Of course that was at the God's discretion.
Anyway. Joseph was apparently the only person who knew Julianne and didn't realise her love for Mathew. That ignorance stemmed from the fact that he thought he was way better than him. This, like all his other thoughts, was essentially a figment of his imagination. A wild imagination like his teachers used to say. And often too.
Julie, by now, had had enough rejections. 34 and quarter to be precise. She knew, she kept a diary. Although she often misplaced it and in an apartment with snoopy guys around - Not A Good Thing To Do! Maintaining a diary is a good thing. Every good thing in life is relative, for it attracts a lot of relatives. In her case though, she didn't have many. She'd been brought up by her uncle. Thomas Smith, was a well-to-do industrialist. & he was well at doing, for his wife had passed away more than a decade ago. With death comes relative freedom. You are set free of your relatives and you have a larger degree of freedom. He didn't have kids of his own, which was just about perfect for him, for that meant he could splurge all he wanted to on himself and his mates. And after his wife's death, he sent Julianne off to a boarding school because he knew he'd cut a sorry figure if he did have to play dad to her. He wasn't averse to play. He played fore- and back. He was the talk of the town. No sane person would want to live his life of debauchery and lechery.
"I envy her uncle, really! I wish I had a life like his." James was a common friend to the three roomies. Julie had come to know him for being the most sane person around.
"It drove me insane with the kind of pleasures he's indulged in. And still does.", he confided in Matt.
"Who gives a f***!" Mathew was hardly impressed. He was, by nature, pretty fastidious. He had a keen sense of humour. Almost all his jokes had something to do with his gold-chain that adorned his scarred neck. "All that glitters is not gold, John!", he'd humour others without realising he was talking to Kumar and not John. Of course, this was the joke, but as nature would have it everyone but Matt would get it. And the laughter and gaiety could all be attributed to Matt's clumsy mannerisms, which he himself was oblivious to, much to the dismay and mirth of people around him. His gawkiness had been the prime builder in his life. It had made him as much enemies as it had befriended. James was one such chap who found his goofy mannerisms pretty cool. James was an agreeable man too. He agreed that almost everything under the sun, everything but his belongings, were cool. Although he found Matt a decent guy, he'd lately started sullying Matt's unblemished character for he'd realised his attraction for Julie and her love for Matt. The realisation had been thrust on him by Julie herself. It was strange then, that they were on a date that day - out for a movie and dinner. The date had been the offspring (or the illegitimate child) of jealousy that Julie hoped would make Matt come closer to her.
"I'm sorry the place is closed!", said the bouncer of the night-club. "But its only ten?"
"I can tell the time, sir. I can also tell when a place is closed!"
"It was your idea, you freak!", Julie blurted out as soon as they'd walked five paces. "This day was just a mistake! Mea Culpa. Should have never asked you out."
She'd said more than she'd actually spoken, for it was crystal clear to James now.
He dropped her at the apartment and left. Without a word. Silence is noisy and confusing sometimes. Specially when you have lots of things going in your head. But such is life. James' perfect day ended up being not so perfect. Even he had been a privy to Julie's diaries, but like Jose, he'd presumed it was a mere trick to throw them off-track! Now that the truth had dawned on him, it was hurting his eyes a little too much for comfort.
Julianne got back to her room, sneaked, and peaked, around Matt's room to see what he was up to. She was disappointed in her savoir-faire, but acutely impressed with her knack of knowing what Matt was up to. There wasn't much know-how needed to know what Matt was up to most of the times. He was there in his room totally marooned and oblivious to the rest of the world's happenings. His laptop was his favourite companion. He had friends he cared about. His laptop was his best friend, for it didn't demand anything in return from him. It was happy just the way it was.
"Whats the matter with you?!" he screamed, infuriated for his laptop had been acting sluggish lately.
"What do you mean? I can't go to my room now??", Julie retorted for she was unaware as to who the recipient of the bellow was.
"Mind your own beeswax for God sake!"
"Another request turned down, huh?" Julie knew where it hurt Matt the most. Well, not really most, but next to most anyway!
Matt thrust his hand out. He knew when to thrust his hand out and when to shove fingers. He quickly amended his folly and showed her his finger much to the wrath of Julie.
She walked away in mute protest. The mute protest generally lasted fifteen minutes at best. This one broke all previous records. It lasted a full thirty seconds longer than her previous. Of course that wasn't easy to figure out given the fact that her diary never contained timings of incidents (and accidents, alike). They displayed the date as a mute reminder to an otherwise hopelessly stupid day for most of her days were stupid and hopeless. Hopeless for she had given up all hope of winning Matt's attention, let alone his love. The days were merely stupid cause the adjective often swapped locations. It described her day when it ought to have described her.
"Where were you?", inquired Joseph the moment he set his eyes on Julie expecting a reply in return. He didn't get a reply. Instead he got an apologetic hand thrust at him.
"Bad Day!" he told himself. He knew Julie inside out. That was really simple for there was more to her outside than her inside!