Jack was, under normal circumstances, a very safe and sound driver. He sound the horn at every given corner, which made him all the more safe. On this particular occasion though the screeching brakes and the swerving tyres made sure the onlookers knew what was coming.
Emma had her heart in her mouth more than once but she was too mad at him to say anything. Jack was angry too. He didn't say a word. He merely floored the gas as hard as he could. This was quite new to the accelerating-pedal of his Austin Martin. In fact, he hadn't said a word after they'd left the restaurant. He gripped the stearing-wheel hard.
"Get A Grip, Will You?", she'd said. He stepped on the gas everytime he recollected her words.
"Will you stop!"
He didn't say a word. He kept driving the car as recklessly as he'd never done, as fast as it would ever go.
They were home before they knew it. Nine minutes and a few seconds it took for Jack to get down.
He got out of the car in a hurry never looking back to see if Emma got down behind him. She stayed in the car. They were on a date.
"What did I ever say to make him so mad?", she thought to herself. Like all her other sane questions this one had very few answers. All her insane questions had lots of answers, but lets not even get there!
About fifteen minutes back they were happily dining at this restaurant that they both loved eating at. This was the place where they'd gone on their first date exactly a year back in time. Which is what had made this date a special one.
Jack had accompanied her to his car. Of course that wasn't much trouble cause they were living together now anyway. Opened it's door for her and drove his favourite car out of the garage.
As soon as they were there, both of them looked in the direction that reminded them of that beautiful evening spent together. Without much hesitation they requested a table for two and inquired politely if that particular table was reserved. It wasn't.
They were escorted to the table. The table was very appropriate for couples on a date. Secluded, decently lit with the most gentle of breezes blowing throughout the day. They looked at each other. Emma smiled at him just as she had a year ago. Their stay together had been really pleasant. Hardly ever had they argued on things they shouldn't have argued on. Most of the arguements they'd had were healthy ones.
Right behind Jack was a newly placed table. It wasn't there the last time they were here. The table had been distracting Emma ever since they got there. Two very pretty ladies had occupied this particular table in question moments before Jack and Emma had been escorted to their table of choice. One of them had been eyeing Jack ever since they got there. Of course, Jack was too madly in love with her to realise.
"Honey? I'm here!? ", Jack gestured with his hands now that he couldn't stop himself from asking her that, after she'd quietly changed her gaze from his face to some distant subject right behind his shoulder.
"That blatant face right behind you! She's been gazing at you since like *ever*!!", she said quietly, obviously feeling awkward now.
"Aah! She can't stop herself from doing that", he said with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.
"Put those yellows where they belong!", she yelled inaudibly.
"Okay Ma'am!"
She felt sorry she'd said what she said. She knew she'd hurt him but she also knew she'd more than make up for it later in the evening.
She didn't talk. Instead she kept gawking at the 'pretty face' behind him. She couldn't help it.
Jack had had enough. He turned around to see who it was.
"My! My! She *is* pretty!"
"Mr. Jack. You're on a date! With me!!", she blurted out. Inaudibly again. Inaudible to others that is.
"Yes. I'm glad I am, darling!"
"Then what was it that you were doing turning around ogling at her?"
"I wasn't ogling. I just said she was pretty, which she is"
"Get A Grip, Will You? And maybe you should go out with her the next time!"
"And you don't even have to wait for the next time. You can go join her right away cause I'm leaving!"
"Emmy? Don't be ridiculous. Sit down"
She didn't pay attention. She got up instead and walked out on him. He got up hurriedly and followed her to the hallway and out the door. She waved at a cab, but he shooed it away.
He grabbed her by the arm, almost as gently as he would grab a child, and took her where the car was parked. She watched him guide her to the car. She couldn't believe he was mad at her and yet wouldn't show it.
She knew he was mad at her because he never spoke even when he grabbed her by the arm to take her to the car-park. And that he was mad at her became too obvious after he turned the ignition. And they were home before she knew it!
Now as she sat there in the car all by herself she pondered over what could've been.
He came out the door and rushed towards her after a minute to open the door for her.
"When you gotta go, you gotta go!", he grinned. From ear to ear.
Thrust his hand out for her. She took his hand and made her way out of the car. As soon as she was out of the car she reached over to his ears and said, "And for the record - Those are the pearliest whites I've ever kissed!"
"Right!", he said, quite sarcastically.
She jerked her hand out of his like she'd never hold them again. Pulled him towards her like she'd never let go.
"Or say, *those* are the pearliest whites I'll ever kiss!"
And kissed him like she never had.
"Happy Anniversary Jack!"
"Right! I'm starving here!"
"I have just the thing for you honey!"
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part-VI
Kumar had been playing that song on his iPod over and over again, all day long. Matt had fallen for the very mellifluous song that this was.
"Will you lower the volume of that thing? Whats the big idea of having an iPod if you're gonna play it full blast on some goddamned speakers and not use an earphone?"
It was funny to see an adult goose-stepping around the house rambling and in endless pursuit of something. What exactly he was looking for was beyond Ku, Jose or Julie.
"Julie, honey! You have cotton-balls, sweetheart? I'd do anything for cotton-balls now!"
"Really? Anything??"
"Cross my heart and hope to die!"
"Awwwwww, thats soooo sweet, you moron! I don't have any. Not for you anyway!", she'd started saying it like it had melted her heart and ended up like she had never had one in the first place.
"Et tu Julie?"
"What is with you guys and Shakespeare, today?"
There was one thing that Kumar's lucky-poker-game had done to the roomies. It had brought them closer. Like they never were. Its funny what a card-game can do to people. Or a bottle of Jose Querve, for that matter!
"Say, you've been listening to that song all day, Kumar! What is it all about?"
"It speaks of a guys immense love for his beloved"
"Awwww, thats so touching!"
"Tsk. Its not even physical!", he said mocking at her.
"You can kill with your not-so-funny-jokes, Kumar!"
"Thats the idea!", he said for that was indeed the idea. Mission: Impossible.
Joseph had been quiet all this while. Nothing bothered good ol' Jose once he'd decided nothing would bother him. He had decided he wouldn't let anything bother him tonight. He'd found himself squeezed into a tiny space in the morning from the night before. Tiring-Sleep.
Although he gave away an impression of being asleep, he was up. All night. Thinking of things he had no control over. People who he loved dearly and people who loved him back. There weren't many who did that which made the task all the more tiring. Then there was Julie. Lately he had been getting hints about her inclinations. He'd decided to give her the space she needed.
"Say Julie, would you mind if I sat here?"
"Why would I mind, Jose. Sit down. And don't be ridiculous, all right?"
"Hmmm"
"Hmmm?"
"Hmmm!"
"Aah, I give up!"
"You quiting already Jul?", said Kumar with the toothiest-grin ever.
"I need to catch up on my sleep"
"Night Guys!"
"She's lost all sense of time!", Matt quipped
"Still haven't lost my senses though!"
"Will you lower the volume of that thing? Whats the big idea of having an iPod if you're gonna play it full blast on some goddamned speakers and not use an earphone?"
It was funny to see an adult goose-stepping around the house rambling and in endless pursuit of something. What exactly he was looking for was beyond Ku, Jose or Julie.
"Julie, honey! You have cotton-balls, sweetheart? I'd do anything for cotton-balls now!"
"Really? Anything??"
"Cross my heart and hope to die!"
"Awwwwww, thats soooo sweet, you moron! I don't have any. Not for you anyway!", she'd started saying it like it had melted her heart and ended up like she had never had one in the first place.
"Et tu Julie?"
"What is with you guys and Shakespeare, today?"
There was one thing that Kumar's lucky-poker-game had done to the roomies. It had brought them closer. Like they never were. Its funny what a card-game can do to people. Or a bottle of Jose Querve, for that matter!
"Say, you've been listening to that song all day, Kumar! What is it all about?"
"It speaks of a guys immense love for his beloved"
"Awwww, thats so touching!"
"Tsk. Its not even physical!", he said mocking at her.
"You can kill with your not-so-funny-jokes, Kumar!"
"Thats the idea!", he said for that was indeed the idea. Mission: Impossible.
Joseph had been quiet all this while. Nothing bothered good ol' Jose once he'd decided nothing would bother him. He had decided he wouldn't let anything bother him tonight. He'd found himself squeezed into a tiny space in the morning from the night before. Tiring-Sleep.
Although he gave away an impression of being asleep, he was up. All night. Thinking of things he had no control over. People who he loved dearly and people who loved him back. There weren't many who did that which made the task all the more tiring. Then there was Julie. Lately he had been getting hints about her inclinations. He'd decided to give her the space she needed.
"Say Julie, would you mind if I sat here?"
"Why would I mind, Jose. Sit down. And don't be ridiculous, all right?"
"Hmmm"
"Hmmm?"
"Hmmm!"
"Aah, I give up!"
"You quiting already Jul?", said Kumar with the toothiest-grin ever.
"I need to catch up on my sleep"
"Night Guys!"
"She's lost all sense of time!", Matt quipped
"Still haven't lost my senses though!"
Labels:
A Sorry Attempt At Humour,
Fiction,
RWAT
Friday, August 24, 2007
Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part-V
"C'est la vie, baby!", said Julianne, almost kid-like trying to cover-up what she'd just said. It wasn't that she hadn't called a girl a bitch before, it was just that she'd never meant it before. They knew she'd meant it, although she told them otherwise. Sometimes you just know when words are really meant and then sometimes, you don't. But anyway..
"Don't just say that just cause its French! Its for losers who can't do a bit about their life."
"Well, thanks a lot for calling me a loser!! But I know I am one - so tell me something I don't know."
"Jealousy doesn't become you, just as this new head-over-heals-guy doesn't become Kumar!"
"Yeah, seriously. I don't know where this jealousy stems from, but whatever it is it can't be true cause you're way better than Ms. Ana Dawson. Way Better!"
Julie fought back tears from her eyes, succeeding only partially. She'd never been complimented (No, eve-teasing doesn't count as a compliment). 22 years without a compliment is a long time! And it was one of the wonders of the modern world how everyone who knew her knew she was pretty but never thought she was pretty enough to fall for, when actually she was absolutely fall-able! C'est la vie, eh?
Julianne had had enough. She couldn't take it anymore. She lunged forward and gave Kumar a tight hug and said "Thanks Kumar, that meant a lot."
"Ok, Ok. Let's not get carried away. But I meant what I said and I'm sure everyone here feels the same way."
"Absolutely!", said everyone in unison.
"Thanks. I'll make coffee for each one of you..", said Julie jubilantly.
"Make mine a black.", said Matt with a wink. He'd acquired this weird (but totally cute) habit of giving her a wink each time he spoke to her. Or maybe it was just all the Jose Cuervo.
"I'll have two cubes of sugar and precisely 5.43 oz. of coffee in a cup with very little cream."
"You got Nescafe decaff? Cause any other brand is not my cup of tea. Ooops coffee!", ginned Kumar from ear to ear. He enjoyed his jokes almost as much as anyone else.
"...in the morning!", continued Julianne.
"Hey! What the f...!", said everyone in unison, again.
"Yeah. Yeah, thats right! What the f...!! I was just trying to get you guys back sober again."
"You mean, we're *not* sober now? That does it! I'm having more Johnnie Walker!"
"We don't have anymore of those! We got a bottle of Jose Cuervo though!", grinned Joseph.
"Nice!!"
"Care for a drink, Julie?"
"Ah, what the heck. Make mine a double. I'm in the mood for mischief!" It was her turn to grin now.
"You know what they do to mischievous chaps? They send them to the room!"
"Awwww man! Please!!"
"We only have enough for the four of us. If you're game for a single shot you have a deal"
"Yippieeeeeeeee!!"
"Welcome aboard sailor!
Oh. Welcome again, I mean!!", corrected Jose.
They all gulped shots of tequila, together. They'd had too much to drink. There are a few things that drinking does to people. Getting tipsy is one. Getting droopy and sleepy is another. They all fell asleep. It was quite a sight. Kumar, who looked like one of those people on the streets who're forced into changing their body structure with the kind of space nature lends them. Only this vegabond had a shiny new digital camera in his left hand, clutched to his chest. He kept making motions with his other hand, in his sleep, probably fighting ghosts who were after his camera.
Matt fell asleep sitting on his chair, with his head resting on the table, as was the case most of the times when he stayed online late and didn't have the vigor to get his bottom off the chair and put himself to bed.
Joseph, however clumsy in real-life (read daylight), was most comfortably placed. Two pillows - one under his head and the other clutched to his chest like some fairy he wouldn't let go off.
And then there was Julianne. Head back, arms wide open (as if expecting a prince charming to come give her a tight hug), legs hanging from the bed for she was only half-way up. All in all, the room would've been a pretty hilarious sight to anyone who would've laid eyes on it. Fortunately, there was no one around. You see, it is kinda tasking trying to get some sleep when people are laughing and giggling in the same room.
"Don't just say that just cause its French! Its for losers who can't do a bit about their life."
"Well, thanks a lot for calling me a loser!! But I know I am one - so tell me something I don't know."
"Jealousy doesn't become you, just as this new head-over-heals-guy doesn't become Kumar!"
"Yeah, seriously. I don't know where this jealousy stems from, but whatever it is it can't be true cause you're way better than Ms. Ana Dawson. Way Better!"
Julie fought back tears from her eyes, succeeding only partially. She'd never been complimented (No, eve-teasing doesn't count as a compliment). 22 years without a compliment is a long time! And it was one of the wonders of the modern world how everyone who knew her knew she was pretty but never thought she was pretty enough to fall for, when actually she was absolutely fall-able! C'est la vie, eh?
Julianne had had enough. She couldn't take it anymore. She lunged forward and gave Kumar a tight hug and said "Thanks Kumar, that meant a lot."
"Ok, Ok. Let's not get carried away. But I meant what I said and I'm sure everyone here feels the same way."
"Absolutely!", said everyone in unison.
"Thanks. I'll make coffee for each one of you..", said Julie jubilantly.
"Make mine a black.", said Matt with a wink. He'd acquired this weird (but totally cute) habit of giving her a wink each time he spoke to her. Or maybe it was just all the Jose Cuervo.
"I'll have two cubes of sugar and precisely 5.43 oz. of coffee in a cup with very little cream."
"You got Nescafe decaff? Cause any other brand is not my cup of tea. Ooops coffee!", ginned Kumar from ear to ear. He enjoyed his jokes almost as much as anyone else.
"...in the morning!", continued Julianne.
"Hey! What the f...!", said everyone in unison, again.
"Yeah. Yeah, thats right! What the f...!! I was just trying to get you guys back sober again."
"You mean, we're *not* sober now? That does it! I'm having more Johnnie Walker!"
"We don't have anymore of those! We got a bottle of Jose Cuervo though!", grinned Joseph.
"Nice!!"
"Care for a drink, Julie?"
"Ah, what the heck. Make mine a double. I'm in the mood for mischief!" It was her turn to grin now.
"You know what they do to mischievous chaps? They send them to the room!"
"Awwww man! Please!!"
"We only have enough for the four of us. If you're game for a single shot you have a deal"
"Yippieeeeeeeee!!"
"Welcome aboard sailor!
Oh. Welcome again, I mean!!", corrected Jose.
They all gulped shots of tequila, together. They'd had too much to drink. There are a few things that drinking does to people. Getting tipsy is one. Getting droopy and sleepy is another. They all fell asleep. It was quite a sight. Kumar, who looked like one of those people on the streets who're forced into changing their body structure with the kind of space nature lends them. Only this vegabond had a shiny new digital camera in his left hand, clutched to his chest. He kept making motions with his other hand, in his sleep, probably fighting ghosts who were after his camera.
Matt fell asleep sitting on his chair, with his head resting on the table, as was the case most of the times when he stayed online late and didn't have the vigor to get his bottom off the chair and put himself to bed.
Joseph, however clumsy in real-life (read daylight), was most comfortably placed. Two pillows - one under his head and the other clutched to his chest like some fairy he wouldn't let go off.
And then there was Julianne. Head back, arms wide open (as if expecting a prince charming to come give her a tight hug), legs hanging from the bed for she was only half-way up. All in all, the room would've been a pretty hilarious sight to anyone who would've laid eyes on it. Fortunately, there was no one around. You see, it is kinda tasking trying to get some sleep when people are laughing and giggling in the same room.
Labels:
A Sorry Attempt At Humour,
Fiction,
RWAT
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - IV
"Why do you hate her, Julie?"
"Hate? Who??", really surprised that that word was indeed used in conjunction with her name.
"Ana Dawson."
"That girl who kept flirting with you in the library that day?"
"Ummm... Yes. If you see it that way."
"I hardly know her to hate her. I was just got pissed off at her because she woke me up, figuratively."
"Oh! That way. I thought.."
"Holy Crap! So, you're thinking now?"
"Shut up!"
Kumar bend over and gave her a light hug. "Thank you!"
"What was that for?"
"For saying you don't hate her even though we know you do. Thanks!"
"Hate? Who??", really surprised that that word was indeed used in conjunction with her name.
"Ana Dawson."
"That girl who kept flirting with you in the library that day?"
"Ummm... Yes. If you see it that way."
"I hardly know her to hate her. I was just got pissed off at her because she woke me up, figuratively."
"Oh! That way. I thought.."
"Holy Crap! So, you're thinking now?"
"Shut up!"
Kumar bend over and gave her a light hug. "Thank you!"
"What was that for?"
"For saying you don't hate her even though we know you do. Thanks!"
Labels:
A Sorry Attempt At Humour,
Fiction,
RWAT
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - III
Night turned to morn sooner than anyone had expected. Julianne had fallen asleep while the guys were still talking about how Kumar's new camera could get 15 times closer to its subject without him having to move an inch. She'd just about managed not to fall asleep while they (read Matt!) talked about his music collection. Of course, most of it was courtesy the internet. All right, all right - Kumar had to help her in the ordeal she'd made it look. That of course meant, Kumar was no longer helping when they started talking about his camera, cause he was too busy showing it off!
"She's a great girl! Funny, classy, intelligent, you name it. She is definitely my type!!"
"Who're you referring to, Ku?"
"Ana."
"Anna?"
"Ana. Ana Dawson."
"Yeah, right. Your type. Hah!"
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"A Cut Above!"
"That is some cheap cigarette brand back home, you dimwit!"
"Cheap? You get cigarettes cheap back home? Really??"
"Oh! Shut Up!!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Thats not becoming you. You're atop all this, remember?"
"Atop? Well, I'd really appreciate if I were on top of her right now!"
"Excuse Moi?". Julie was harshly woken up by the furious hand movements (and furious table-banging) that Kumar had resorted to, to emphasize the 'right now!'
"French dreams, eh?", winked Matt
"You stay out of this. And why would you care?", sneered Julie
Matt left without a word. Nothing much was said after he left. It was like a 10 week vacation coming to an abrupt end.
"Whats the matter? Anybody dead that we know?", said Matt cheerfully as soon as he got back.
"Where had you gone, man?"
"To the loo, you looby!"
"Hah Hah Hah! And here we were thinking you had taken offense at Julie's outburst!"
"I'm sorry, I snapped at you. Didn't mean to."
"I know what you meant. Its ok. I suppose it was a French nightmare, huh?", winked Matt
Julie couldn't help but fall in love all over again. It was one of the things she admired about Matt the most. His you-don't-hurt-me-try-as-you-might attitude.
"You're ok, man?"
"Ana..........!!!", he sighed. For the fourteenth time in five minutes.
"Dawson?", asked Julie with some concern. And genuine too.
"What now, honey?", half expecting a biography on the life and times of Miss. Ana Dawson.
"I hate that bitch!", she blurted out in an accent that no one would've associated with her. But such is life. Unpredictable.
"She's a great girl! Funny, classy, intelligent, you name it. She is definitely my type!!"
"Who're you referring to, Ku?"
"Ana."
"Anna?"
"Ana. Ana Dawson."
"Yeah, right. Your type. Hah!"
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"A Cut Above!"
"That is some cheap cigarette brand back home, you dimwit!"
"Cheap? You get cigarettes cheap back home? Really??"
"Oh! Shut Up!!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Thats not becoming you. You're atop all this, remember?"
"Atop? Well, I'd really appreciate if I were on top of her right now!"
"Excuse Moi?". Julie was harshly woken up by the furious hand movements (and furious table-banging) that Kumar had resorted to, to emphasize the 'right now!'
"French dreams, eh?", winked Matt
"You stay out of this. And why would you care?", sneered Julie
Matt left without a word. Nothing much was said after he left. It was like a 10 week vacation coming to an abrupt end.
"Whats the matter? Anybody dead that we know?", said Matt cheerfully as soon as he got back.
"Where had you gone, man?"
"To the loo, you looby!"
"Hah Hah Hah! And here we were thinking you had taken offense at Julie's outburst!"
"I'm sorry, I snapped at you. Didn't mean to."
"I know what you meant. Its ok. I suppose it was a French nightmare, huh?", winked Matt
Julie couldn't help but fall in love all over again. It was one of the things she admired about Matt the most. His you-don't-hurt-me-try-as-you-might attitude.
"You're ok, man?"
"Ana..........!!!", he sighed. For the fourteenth time in five minutes.
"Dawson?", asked Julie with some concern. And genuine too.
"What now, honey?", half expecting a biography on the life and times of Miss. Ana Dawson.
"I hate that bitch!", she blurted out in an accent that no one would've associated with her. But such is life. Unpredictable.
Labels:
A Sorry Attempt At Humour,
Fiction,
RWAT
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Update..!!
Long time since this thing got an update...
Actually, I've been keeping pretty busy these days - I can only get the time to breathe. Just about.
Thankfully, am not *that* busy for the next couple of days (Hopefully) so this thing might get populated once again! :-)
A & K Syndicate {AKS. (AKS-74U if you like it that way)}
Actually, I've been keeping pretty busy these days - I can only get the time to breathe. Just about.
Thankfully, am not *that* busy for the next couple of days (Hopefully) so this thing might get populated once again! :-)
A & K Syndicate {AKS. (AKS-74U if you like it that way)}
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
One by one..!!
One by one, the casements catch;
Her beams beneath the silvery thatch.
Couch in his kennel like a log,
With paws of silver sleeps the dog.
From her shadowy coat, the white breasts peep.
Something about the poem. Something about it that I never seem to remember words after the breast-peeping! Maybe its just a filthy mind. Or a filthier mindset. Whatever it is - this is the only part of the poem I recollect. Silver by Walter de la Mare, I'm guessing! Fourth Standard. I remember other poems from the same grade in totality, but this one has been on my mind all day today!
Why, you ask. Why not?
One by one - thats the thing that keeps me reminding of the current situation. One by one.
What, you ask. Thats none of your business.
Her beams beneath the silvery thatch.
Couch in his kennel like a log,
With paws of silver sleeps the dog.
From her shadowy coat, the white breasts peep.
Something about the poem. Something about it that I never seem to remember words after the breast-peeping! Maybe its just a filthy mind. Or a filthier mindset. Whatever it is - this is the only part of the poem I recollect. Silver by Walter de la Mare, I'm guessing! Fourth Standard. I remember other poems from the same grade in totality, but this one has been on my mind all day today!
Why, you ask. Why not?
One by one - thats the thing that keeps me reminding of the current situation. One by one.
What, you ask. Thats none of your business.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Long Live..
Just had my complete C&H delivered to me!
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
One of the best days *ever*!!
Long Live Amazon! :D
Oh, Calvin & Hobbes too!! :)
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
One of the best days *ever*!!
Long Live Amazon! :D
Oh, Calvin & Hobbes too!! :)
Friday, May 18, 2007
Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - II
"Joseph!" He never liked his name. It started with a 'J'. 'Jobless', 'Jobseeker', 'Jocasta' and all the words that sent a shudder down his spine usually started with the alphabet 'J'. And then there was Julianne. The light in his life. The dark light.
She was a dark light as far as he was concerned for he was too timid to shed some light on his fancy for her. And she, was too short-sighted to see the light herself. But that was fine with Good Ol' Jose. He wasn't finicky as far as his options in life were concerned. He had lowered his needs to such abysmal depths that they were met to begin with. One such need was the urge to smoke. He smoked when he was not asleep. Matt put the cigarette butt in his mouth one day while he was asleep. That, of course made him wake up. The fact that he'd been dreaming about Julie upset him, but that was soon puffed-off with Benson & Hedges. Cigarettes are better than women, he tried convincing himself.
"Yeah, Right!"
Jose, by nature, was the sequacious kind. He owed his sorry state of affairs to the people he tried to emulate. There was nothing wrong with the people he tried to follow. It was something inherent. Joseph, as it turned out, was pretty bad at following suit too.
"You're supposed to play Spade, Jose!"
"Oh! Am I?"
"And call a Spade a spade for chrissake!"
"Was that a pun?"
"No. That was just plain stupid!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Why're you getting all worked up, man?"
"Because, you're getting on my nerves!"
"You not feeling well?"
"That's it, I'm outta here. I don't intend to stay at a place where my jokes aren't appreciated. You're out of order!!"
"All That Glitters Is Not Gold, John!"
"Who the hell's John?"
"John Woo!"
"Who?"
"The movie man!"
"The movie man?"
"Yes. The famous movie maker!"
"Whatever, Whoever! I'm outta here!"
"You can't just leave in the middle of the game. That so doesn't do it!"
"Et tu, Jul(ie)?"
"What did I say? Just said you shouldn't leave in the middle of the game! Is that a bad thing to say?"
"Not a bad thing, but definitely not a tactful thing to say!"
Kumar was that way. He spoke things he didn't really mean. And he didn't always say what he meant. Not that he was unable to express himself. It was just his discretion that he be who he wasn't. Ethan Hunt. His life was Mission: Impossible. He wanted it that way because Mission: Possible, never raised enough eye-brows and wasn't a flick either! He'd never heard anyone ever say, "But that is possible!" Although he'd heard people say, "But that's impossible!" almost all his life. Impossibility always brings with it, its own charm. He'd wanted to be a charmer all his life - & he was. Chicks would dig him. Yearn for him tragically. But the real irony of life was - he getting together with someone was impossible. That was his mission in life, after all.
Of course, he finished the game that day. Won hands down. The usual. The prize money? Date-Your-Fate!
Each one had written his/her secret date on a piece of paper and kept it in a bowl. The winner got to go out on a date with someone he/she wished to go out with. Kumar hadn't mentioned a nominee. He wanted to go out with all of them. Mission: Impossible, huh? Well, not really! They did go out with him that evening. Turned out pretty good. Julie got to spend the evening with Matt, Jose with Julie, Matt with Kumar (don't read between the lines, please! They're just good buddies and Kumar is straight. So is Matt!)
On their way back, Kumar insisted they play Hindi songs on the tape - which of course was totally fine with the folks. Songs don't make a dime's difference when you're sloshed silly.
"Will someone turn this thing off!". Julie wasn't too tipsy to tell the words of the song. This song didn't have words. At least not words she could comprehend.
"Hey, this *is* good stuff, okay!"
"Totally!"
"You're impossible!"
"Watch it, Kum. Watch it!", Kumar told himself. She's drunk and so are you.
"Oh, my God! Who's driving?", he screamed as soon as reality dawned on him.
"Relax. Joe is!"
"And she tells me to relax!"
"He's a good driver, Ku!"
"And I'm gay, Jul!"
"Wow, really?"
Kumar, now stabbing himself with a mock-dagger and apparently, very furious.
"Hell, no! Phhhhhtttb!!"
And they all got to their apartment. All but Kumar. But it was okay cause he was spending the night with Matt (again, don't get any ideas, please)
She was a dark light as far as he was concerned for he was too timid to shed some light on his fancy for her. And she, was too short-sighted to see the light herself. But that was fine with Good Ol' Jose. He wasn't finicky as far as his options in life were concerned. He had lowered his needs to such abysmal depths that they were met to begin with. One such need was the urge to smoke. He smoked when he was not asleep. Matt put the cigarette butt in his mouth one day while he was asleep. That, of course made him wake up. The fact that he'd been dreaming about Julie upset him, but that was soon puffed-off with Benson & Hedges. Cigarettes are better than women, he tried convincing himself.
"Yeah, Right!"
Jose, by nature, was the sequacious kind. He owed his sorry state of affairs to the people he tried to emulate. There was nothing wrong with the people he tried to follow. It was something inherent. Joseph, as it turned out, was pretty bad at following suit too.
"You're supposed to play Spade, Jose!"
"Oh! Am I?"
"And call a Spade a spade for chrissake!"
"Was that a pun?"
"No. That was just plain stupid!!"
"Relax, Kumar! Why're you getting all worked up, man?"
"Because, you're getting on my nerves!"
"You not feeling well?"
"That's it, I'm outta here. I don't intend to stay at a place where my jokes aren't appreciated. You're out of order!!"
"All That Glitters Is Not Gold, John!"
"Who the hell's John?"
"John Woo!"
"Who?"
"The movie man!"
"The movie man?"
"Yes. The famous movie maker!"
"Whatever, Whoever! I'm outta here!"
"You can't just leave in the middle of the game. That so doesn't do it!"
"Et tu, Jul(ie)?"
"What did I say? Just said you shouldn't leave in the middle of the game! Is that a bad thing to say?"
"Not a bad thing, but definitely not a tactful thing to say!"
Kumar was that way. He spoke things he didn't really mean. And he didn't always say what he meant. Not that he was unable to express himself. It was just his discretion that he be who he wasn't. Ethan Hunt. His life was Mission: Impossible. He wanted it that way because Mission: Possible, never raised enough eye-brows and wasn't a flick either! He'd never heard anyone ever say, "But that is possible!" Although he'd heard people say, "But that's impossible!" almost all his life. Impossibility always brings with it, its own charm. He'd wanted to be a charmer all his life - & he was. Chicks would dig him. Yearn for him tragically. But the real irony of life was - he getting together with someone was impossible. That was his mission in life, after all.
Of course, he finished the game that day. Won hands down. The usual. The prize money? Date-Your-Fate!
Each one had written his/her secret date on a piece of paper and kept it in a bowl. The winner got to go out on a date with someone he/she wished to go out with. Kumar hadn't mentioned a nominee. He wanted to go out with all of them. Mission: Impossible, huh? Well, not really! They did go out with him that evening. Turned out pretty good. Julie got to spend the evening with Matt, Jose with Julie, Matt with Kumar (don't read between the lines, please! They're just good buddies and Kumar is straight. So is Matt!)
On their way back, Kumar insisted they play Hindi songs on the tape - which of course was totally fine with the folks. Songs don't make a dime's difference when you're sloshed silly.
"Will someone turn this thing off!". Julie wasn't too tipsy to tell the words of the song. This song didn't have words. At least not words she could comprehend.
"Hey, this *is* good stuff, okay!"
"Totally!"
"You're impossible!"
"Watch it, Kum. Watch it!", Kumar told himself. She's drunk and so are you.
"Oh, my God! Who's driving?", he screamed as soon as reality dawned on him.
"Relax. Joe is!"
"And she tells me to relax!"
"He's a good driver, Ku!"
"And I'm gay, Jul!"
"Wow, really?"
Kumar, now stabbing himself with a mock-dagger and apparently, very furious.
"Hell, no! Phhhhhtttb!!"
And they all got to their apartment. All but Kumar. But it was okay cause he was spending the night with Matt (again, don't get any ideas, please)
Labels:
A Sorry Attempt At Humour,
Fiction,
RWAT
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Some Day This..!!
It started off like any other day. Well thats kinda misleading cause none of my days start off like the previous one. Strangely enough, my day, celestially speaking, started off with me coming back from work! Strange for people who're not accustomed to working in shifts, like I. I got back at around half past six, changed into something comfortable (am not telling what it was). Then I went online, as usual, to check on my inbox and meet friends willing to check on me. Met a few of them, as I usually do. This friend from college was online and she insisted that I show her the photos I'd taken in the marriage concluded recently. Marriage of my sister. There wasn't much in the inbox, which was kinda good cause I was feeling sleepy by then. Most of the sleep I get nowadays is artificially induced. Music soothes, propitiates and mollifies. Same goes for grass. Wary that I had to leave for work at half past 1 in the afternoon, I reset the alarm for noon. Sleep came easy. But then again, that is what grass is supposed to do to people.
The Lunatic Is On The Grass
Remembering Games, And Daisy-chains
And Laughs
Got To Keep The Lunies On The Path
- Pink Floyd, by the way.
It was nearly half past 7 by then. I don't remember what happened thereafter. Until I woke up that is. It was 11 then. Not 11 in the evening, thankfully. Couldn't get any sleep thereafter. Decided to wake up and get on with it. It was half past 1 in no time. Work was calling already.
The weather outside was Hot. (Careful attention needs to be paid at the H in the word hot). The mercury would well have been somewhere near the mid 40s. It wasn't as bad as it looked though. It was worse. The heat made the eyes dry, if that is biologically possible. And with the glasses that rest over my nose perennially, it told of quite a sorry tale.
Work was tiring as usual. Heat made it all the more so. Monkeying on a column at half past two in the afternoon is not my idea of work. Sadly, it doesn't matter what my ideas tell me - they mislead me often :). The measly lube-oil level in the ammonia refrigeration package didn't make things any better. Of course there was tea and snacks in between the two 'heated' chores. Welcome break :). There was also a itsy-bitsy beverage party, courtesy me. Am anything but a pinchpenny.
The compressor was run, eventually. The evening progressed. It usually does that every now and then. Only sometimes it catches me unawares. Heh Heh. Although I was *really* tired by now, I still had quite some work left to do. Time flies when you don't wait for it. I was, unfortunately. And then, I wasn't. So it started flying again. Of course, I was too preoccupied to notice :)
It was 10 PM already. I could see lightning and thunder through the dark glass of my office. Pitter-patter suggested the Rain Gods had had enough prayers not to answer. Of course that meant, mere mortals got drenched on their way back from work. A welcome relief from the heat nonetheless.
Its nearly quarter past 12 and I have to work morning tomorrow. Day starts at half past 4 then. :-s
Good Night!
The Lunatic Is On The Grass
Remembering Games, And Daisy-chains
And Laughs
Got To Keep The Lunies On The Path
- Pink Floyd, by the way.
It was nearly half past 7 by then. I don't remember what happened thereafter. Until I woke up that is. It was 11 then. Not 11 in the evening, thankfully. Couldn't get any sleep thereafter. Decided to wake up and get on with it. It was half past 1 in no time. Work was calling already.
The weather outside was Hot. (Careful attention needs to be paid at the H in the word hot). The mercury would well have been somewhere near the mid 40s. It wasn't as bad as it looked though. It was worse. The heat made the eyes dry, if that is biologically possible. And with the glasses that rest over my nose perennially, it told of quite a sorry tale.
Work was tiring as usual. Heat made it all the more so. Monkeying on a column at half past two in the afternoon is not my idea of work. Sadly, it doesn't matter what my ideas tell me - they mislead me often :). The measly lube-oil level in the ammonia refrigeration package didn't make things any better. Of course there was tea and snacks in between the two 'heated' chores. Welcome break :). There was also a itsy-bitsy beverage party, courtesy me. Am anything but a pinchpenny.
The compressor was run, eventually. The evening progressed. It usually does that every now and then. Only sometimes it catches me unawares. Heh Heh. Although I was *really* tired by now, I still had quite some work left to do. Time flies when you don't wait for it. I was, unfortunately. And then, I wasn't. So it started flying again. Of course, I was too preoccupied to notice :)
It was 10 PM already. I could see lightning and thunder through the dark glass of my office. Pitter-patter suggested the Rain Gods had had enough prayers not to answer. Of course that meant, mere mortals got drenched on their way back from work. A welcome relief from the heat nonetheless.
Its nearly quarter past 12 and I have to work morning tomorrow. Day starts at half past 4 then. :-s
Good Night!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I came across this poem and have been captivated by its simplicity and that 'X' factor (cause I can't imagine what it is). Thought it would be a good idea to post it here :)
The lines are not complete and they shall be all the more incomplete if I don't mention the name of the person who's put in all the effort in penning this one down!
Ian Bowen
I no longer sit
in the glamour
of your eye;
laugh as if happy,
smile halfway sad.
No longer ride the
snow -haired charger….
unworthy to capture
lust, desire and want.
I lie armour rusty
with lanced libido lost
The lines are not complete and they shall be all the more incomplete if I don't mention the name of the person who's put in all the effort in penning this one down!
Ian Bowen
I no longer sit
in the glamour
of your eye;
laugh as if happy,
smile halfway sad.
No longer ride the
snow -haired charger….
unworthy to capture
lust, desire and want.
I lie armour rusty
with lanced libido lost
Wait There!
Kāsid Ke Āte Āte, Khat Ek Aur Likh Rakhūn
Main Jāntā Hoon Jo Woh Likhéngé Jawāb Mein
Kabsé Hoon Kya Batāun Jahān-é-Kharāb Mein
Tāfir Na Intezār Mein Nēnd Āye Umr Bhar
Āne Kā Ahed Kar Gayé Aayé Jo Khaab Mein
Obviously another Ghalib. In fact the "intoxicated" post is just another verse of this one. Very profound and at the same time very accessible lyrics. When I say accessible, I mean once you get the gist of it, its not very hard to imagine (this is not a Samsung, by the way) and given a good amount of ill-luck you might just relate to it. Heh Heh.
Roomie, Where Art Thou?: Part - I
Mathew Planc was an agreeable, 25 year old chap whos idea of a good time was sitting around in the house doing nothing at all! He was agreeable because he inevitably made people agree at how big a jack-ass he was. Julianne, the first of his room-mates was totally in love with him.
"That rat-bastard! What does he think of himself? He can go to hell all right!", said Julie to herself after Matt had gone into one of his 'i'll-stay-in-my-room' shells and refused to go out with her. "I'd rather go to hell Julianne! Than go out with you, really!"
Julianne Smith was a sweet girl, all of 22 - although she had the knack of make-believing she was a teen, which she had been once upon a time. She loved country music as much as she liked her assets. In fact it was greatly bemusing as to how a girl as pretty as her would end up falling head over heels for a mediocre guy like Matt. It was just there for all to see. All but Joseph.
Jose, was an old man. He'd been born old. But the good thing about his being born old was that he didn't age much. Or even if he did, his birth certificate said otherwise. And of course, his birth certificate like every other of his belongings was immaculate and spoke of the truth at all times. He was a 24 year old guy who thought he'd outgrown his age 24 years back. Good Ol' Jose, as he was affectionately called by his friends and roomies, was well-read. Being well read is a good thing if you read all the right things. A practical joke that nature had played on him. And a hilarious one at that! Of course, like every other serious book-worms, the humour eluded him perennially. He often felt the urge to feel sorry for himself. "Why me?", he'd say when it rained on him. When the sun shone on him. When the wind blew his hair - which, by the way, was a sorry sight for he didn't have a lot of shoots popping outta his scalp, which was just okay with him as long as the wind Gods didn't play foul. Of course that was at the God's discretion.
Anyway. Joseph was apparently the only person who knew Julianne and didn't realise her love for Mathew. That ignorance stemmed from the fact that he thought he was way better than him. This, like all his other thoughts, was essentially a figment of his imagination. A wild imagination like his teachers used to say. And often too.
Julie, by now, had had enough rejections. 34 and quarter to be precise. She knew, she kept a diary. Although she often misplaced it and in an apartment with snoopy guys around - Not A Good Thing To Do! Maintaining a diary is a good thing. Every good thing in life is relative, for it attracts a lot of relatives. In her case though, she didn't have many. She'd been brought up by her uncle. Thomas Smith, was a well-to-do industrialist. & he was well at doing, for his wife had passed away more than a decade ago. With death comes relative freedom. You are set free of your relatives and you have a larger degree of freedom. He didn't have kids of his own, which was just about perfect for him, for that meant he could splurge all he wanted to on himself and his mates. And after his wife's death, he sent Julianne off to a boarding school because he knew he'd cut a sorry figure if he did have to play dad to her. He wasn't averse to play. He played fore- and back. He was the talk of the town. No sane person would want to live his life of debauchery and lechery.
"I envy her uncle, really! I wish I had a life like his." James was a common friend to the three roomies. Julie had come to know him for being the most sane person around.
"It drove me insane with the kind of pleasures he's indulged in. And still does.", he confided in Matt.
"Who gives a f***!" Mathew was hardly impressed. He was, by nature, pretty fastidious. He had a keen sense of humour. Almost all his jokes had something to do with his gold-chain that adorned his scarred neck. "All that glitters is not gold, John!", he'd humour others without realising he was talking to Kumar and not John. Of course, this was the joke, but as nature would have it everyone but Matt would get it. And the laughter and gaiety could all be attributed to Matt's clumsy mannerisms, which he himself was oblivious to, much to the dismay and mirth of people around him. His gawkiness had been the prime builder in his life. It had made him as much enemies as it had befriended. James was one such chap who found his goofy mannerisms pretty cool. James was an agreeable man too. He agreed that almost everything under the sun, everything but his belongings, were cool. Although he found Matt a decent guy, he'd lately started sullying Matt's unblemished character for he'd realised his attraction for Julie and her love for Matt. The realisation had been thrust on him by Julie herself. It was strange then, that they were on a date that day - out for a movie and dinner. The date had been the offspring (or the illegitimate child) of jealousy that Julie hoped would make Matt come closer to her.
"I'm sorry the place is closed!", said the bouncer of the night-club. "But its only ten?"
"I can tell the time, sir. I can also tell when a place is closed!"
"It was your idea, you freak!", Julie blurted out as soon as they'd walked five paces. "This day was just a mistake! Mea Culpa. Should have never asked you out."
She'd said more than she'd actually spoken, for it was crystal clear to James now.
He dropped her at the apartment and left. Without a word. Silence is noisy and confusing sometimes. Specially when you have lots of things going in your head. But such is life. James' perfect day ended up being not so perfect. Even he had been a privy to Julie's diaries, but like Jose, he'd presumed it was a mere trick to throw them off-track! Now that the truth had dawned on him, it was hurting his eyes a little too much for comfort.
Julianne got back to her room, sneaked, and peaked, around Matt's room to see what he was up to. She was disappointed in her savoir-faire, but acutely impressed with her knack of knowing what Matt was up to. There wasn't much know-how needed to know what Matt was up to most of the times. He was there in his room totally marooned and oblivious to the rest of the world's happenings. His laptop was his favourite companion. He had friends he cared about. His laptop was his best friend, for it didn't demand anything in return from him. It was happy just the way it was.
"Whats the matter with you?!" he screamed, infuriated for his laptop had been acting sluggish lately.
"What do you mean? I can't go to my room now??", Julie retorted for she was unaware as to who the recipient of the bellow was.
"Mind your own beeswax for God sake!"
"Another request turned down, huh?" Julie knew where it hurt Matt the most. Well, not really most, but next to most anyway!
Matt thrust his hand out. He knew when to thrust his hand out and when to shove fingers. He quickly amended his folly and showed her his finger much to the wrath of Julie.
She walked away in mute protest. The mute protest generally lasted fifteen minutes at best. This one broke all previous records. It lasted a full thirty seconds longer than her previous. Of course that wasn't easy to figure out given the fact that her diary never contained timings of incidents (and accidents, alike). They displayed the date as a mute reminder to an otherwise hopelessly stupid day for most of her days were stupid and hopeless. Hopeless for she had given up all hope of winning Matt's attention, let alone his love. The days were merely stupid cause the adjective often swapped locations. It described her day when it ought to have described her.
"Where were you?", inquired Joseph the moment he set his eyes on Julie expecting a reply in return. He didn't get a reply. Instead he got an apologetic hand thrust at him.
"Bad Day!" he told himself. He knew Julie inside out. That was really simple for there was more to her outside than her inside!
"That rat-bastard! What does he think of himself? He can go to hell all right!", said Julie to herself after Matt had gone into one of his 'i'll-stay-in-my-room' shells and refused to go out with her. "I'd rather go to hell Julianne! Than go out with you, really!"
Julianne Smith was a sweet girl, all of 22 - although she had the knack of make-believing she was a teen, which she had been once upon a time. She loved country music as much as she liked her assets. In fact it was greatly bemusing as to how a girl as pretty as her would end up falling head over heels for a mediocre guy like Matt. It was just there for all to see. All but Joseph.
Jose, was an old man. He'd been born old. But the good thing about his being born old was that he didn't age much. Or even if he did, his birth certificate said otherwise. And of course, his birth certificate like every other of his belongings was immaculate and spoke of the truth at all times. He was a 24 year old guy who thought he'd outgrown his age 24 years back. Good Ol' Jose, as he was affectionately called by his friends and roomies, was well-read. Being well read is a good thing if you read all the right things. A practical joke that nature had played on him. And a hilarious one at that! Of course, like every other serious book-worms, the humour eluded him perennially. He often felt the urge to feel sorry for himself. "Why me?", he'd say when it rained on him. When the sun shone on him. When the wind blew his hair - which, by the way, was a sorry sight for he didn't have a lot of shoots popping outta his scalp, which was just okay with him as long as the wind Gods didn't play foul. Of course that was at the God's discretion.
Anyway. Joseph was apparently the only person who knew Julianne and didn't realise her love for Mathew. That ignorance stemmed from the fact that he thought he was way better than him. This, like all his other thoughts, was essentially a figment of his imagination. A wild imagination like his teachers used to say. And often too.
Julie, by now, had had enough rejections. 34 and quarter to be precise. She knew, she kept a diary. Although she often misplaced it and in an apartment with snoopy guys around - Not A Good Thing To Do! Maintaining a diary is a good thing. Every good thing in life is relative, for it attracts a lot of relatives. In her case though, she didn't have many. She'd been brought up by her uncle. Thomas Smith, was a well-to-do industrialist. & he was well at doing, for his wife had passed away more than a decade ago. With death comes relative freedom. You are set free of your relatives and you have a larger degree of freedom. He didn't have kids of his own, which was just about perfect for him, for that meant he could splurge all he wanted to on himself and his mates. And after his wife's death, he sent Julianne off to a boarding school because he knew he'd cut a sorry figure if he did have to play dad to her. He wasn't averse to play. He played fore- and back. He was the talk of the town. No sane person would want to live his life of debauchery and lechery.
"I envy her uncle, really! I wish I had a life like his." James was a common friend to the three roomies. Julie had come to know him for being the most sane person around.
"It drove me insane with the kind of pleasures he's indulged in. And still does.", he confided in Matt.
"Who gives a f***!" Mathew was hardly impressed. He was, by nature, pretty fastidious. He had a keen sense of humour. Almost all his jokes had something to do with his gold-chain that adorned his scarred neck. "All that glitters is not gold, John!", he'd humour others without realising he was talking to Kumar and not John. Of course, this was the joke, but as nature would have it everyone but Matt would get it. And the laughter and gaiety could all be attributed to Matt's clumsy mannerisms, which he himself was oblivious to, much to the dismay and mirth of people around him. His gawkiness had been the prime builder in his life. It had made him as much enemies as it had befriended. James was one such chap who found his goofy mannerisms pretty cool. James was an agreeable man too. He agreed that almost everything under the sun, everything but his belongings, were cool. Although he found Matt a decent guy, he'd lately started sullying Matt's unblemished character for he'd realised his attraction for Julie and her love for Matt. The realisation had been thrust on him by Julie herself. It was strange then, that they were on a date that day - out for a movie and dinner. The date had been the offspring (or the illegitimate child) of jealousy that Julie hoped would make Matt come closer to her.
"I'm sorry the place is closed!", said the bouncer of the night-club. "But its only ten?"
"I can tell the time, sir. I can also tell when a place is closed!"
"It was your idea, you freak!", Julie blurted out as soon as they'd walked five paces. "This day was just a mistake! Mea Culpa. Should have never asked you out."
She'd said more than she'd actually spoken, for it was crystal clear to James now.
He dropped her at the apartment and left. Without a word. Silence is noisy and confusing sometimes. Specially when you have lots of things going in your head. But such is life. James' perfect day ended up being not so perfect. Even he had been a privy to Julie's diaries, but like Jose, he'd presumed it was a mere trick to throw them off-track! Now that the truth had dawned on him, it was hurting his eyes a little too much for comfort.
Julianne got back to her room, sneaked, and peaked, around Matt's room to see what he was up to. She was disappointed in her savoir-faire, but acutely impressed with her knack of knowing what Matt was up to. There wasn't much know-how needed to know what Matt was up to most of the times. He was there in his room totally marooned and oblivious to the rest of the world's happenings. His laptop was his favourite companion. He had friends he cared about. His laptop was his best friend, for it didn't demand anything in return from him. It was happy just the way it was.
"Whats the matter with you?!" he screamed, infuriated for his laptop had been acting sluggish lately.
"What do you mean? I can't go to my room now??", Julie retorted for she was unaware as to who the recipient of the bellow was.
"Mind your own beeswax for God sake!"
"Another request turned down, huh?" Julie knew where it hurt Matt the most. Well, not really most, but next to most anyway!
Matt thrust his hand out. He knew when to thrust his hand out and when to shove fingers. He quickly amended his folly and showed her his finger much to the wrath of Julie.
She walked away in mute protest. The mute protest generally lasted fifteen minutes at best. This one broke all previous records. It lasted a full thirty seconds longer than her previous. Of course that wasn't easy to figure out given the fact that her diary never contained timings of incidents (and accidents, alike). They displayed the date as a mute reminder to an otherwise hopelessly stupid day for most of her days were stupid and hopeless. Hopeless for she had given up all hope of winning Matt's attention, let alone his love. The days were merely stupid cause the adjective often swapped locations. It described her day when it ought to have described her.
"Where were you?", inquired Joseph the moment he set his eyes on Julie expecting a reply in return. He didn't get a reply. Instead he got an apologetic hand thrust at him.
"Bad Day!" he told himself. He knew Julie inside out. That was really simple for there was more to her outside than her inside!
Labels:
A Sorry Attempt At Humour,
Fiction,
RWAT
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
When Jack Met Emma..!! (Or Angels Don't Lie): Part - V
Jack waited there impatiently. He felt like that ripe mango hinged to the tree by its slender neck waiting to fall off or be prematurely bumped off by some sudden gush of wind or a nasty stone hurled its way by some impatient kid. The moment of truth was here. And for his sake he hoped it was 'now' not 'never'.
There she was in all her beauty and splendor. Appropriately dressed in a white gown accompanied by her father as the mellifluous wedding song was being played in the background by the band that she'd given her thumbs up to. He'd never heard of the band and given a choice, he'd excuse himself from the agony. If it hadn't been the song's charm, the band would've sound pretty bland. But then again most of the bands in contemporary world he found bland and mildly disgusting! They were the not-so-mute-reminder to the fact that even Emma had her cons, but he'd known of them before he'd popped the question 8 months ago. Funny feeling rain can bring out. He put all the onus of his going down on his knee to the romantic weather and not his bravado. But then Emma had known him for 4 years so it didn't come as a surprise to her. In fact, he'd let her entertain the idea quite a few times.
It was taking ages for her to walk down the aisle. He felt a strong urge to go and shoot the band members in cold-blood. And without second thoughts at that. They'd made the tempo of the song a tad slow. Of course tad is a relative word and Jack knew relativity better than most. Here Comes The Bride, Here Comes The Bride!
"Yeah, well she's been coming for hours now!", he said to himself, loud enough for the Best-Man to hear it. Ralph was dressed smartly in his black tux. He found marriages very boring. When he wasn't standing at the altar waiting for his to-be-wife that is. He'd been married four times and was now seeing a brunette. A beautiful brunette at that. She looked much younger than she was. First look and only an insane would say she was 32. Ralph, of course, was insane. They struck a chord right away. It was hard not to see his charm and her beauty. They looked good together. They'd stay together for how long only time would tell.
"Really?? You're The Man!!!", Ralph quipped.
"Quiet You! This is a Church for God-sake!!"
"And I've seen it from the inside more than you have, you evil minded bull!"
"Bull-Shit"
"Quiet You! This is a Church for God-sake!!"
"Ralph! I appreciate your cheering me up, but SHUT-UP!"
"Excuse Me? But I've hardly said a word!"
"Not you Father! I'm sorry"
The crowd was having a good time by now. The crowd always had a good time for crowds are supposed to be sadists in their own right.
"Do we begin, son?"
"Yes, Father! As soon as you're ready"
"Very well then"
"We gather here to bless this....."
Jack was lost in his own world. He had never imagined in his wildest of dreams that he would fall so hopelessly in love with this really strange girl. She was a decently attractive girl, nothing much to write home about though. But such are circumstances. Men fall where men ought to rise and men rise where they ought to fall. For Jack, the descent had been listless at first and then it plummeted to the unthinkable depths so fast, it made him dizzy. Thankfully for him, Emma was there to hold him just when he was about to crash to the ground.
"Heh Heh"
He realised he'd laughed out too loud. Loud enough for others to hear. Now they were looking at him funny. It was funny, really. The priest had just about managed to ask him what he'd been waiting for to hear ever since he'd popped the Q 8 months ago.
"I, Jack Nicholas, take you, Emma McDonnell, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
The answer the priest had been expecting was far more serious than the 'heh heh' that he got instead.
He knew he'd goofed up and Emma would be furious, but he had to cover up. "Heh Heh, I've to actually say all that?" He tried to laugh it off. Of course that made the solemn affair all the more frivolous and trivial which didn't go down well with Emma.
"Of course, I Do!"
Emma had had enough of mockery for a day.
"Go to hell, you swine!", she blurted out as she resisted slapping him hard but failed miserably.
"She went away. Twice as fast as she'd appeared"
"No!!!! You can't run away from me! Bull-Shit!"
"Whats the matter honey? Are you all right? Bad Dream, was it?"
He startled himself and her by leaping straight to her arms.
"Yeah, was. Pretty Bad. Which is why I was wondering if I'd *really* known you for 4 years"
"How bad can it be Jack? I've been here with you all night! It can't get any worse than that, can it?"
He looked at her in the eyes and then kissed her gently.
Actions speak louder than words.
There she was in all her beauty and splendor. Appropriately dressed in a white gown accompanied by her father as the mellifluous wedding song was being played in the background by the band that she'd given her thumbs up to. He'd never heard of the band and given a choice, he'd excuse himself from the agony. If it hadn't been the song's charm, the band would've sound pretty bland. But then again most of the bands in contemporary world he found bland and mildly disgusting! They were the not-so-mute-reminder to the fact that even Emma had her cons, but he'd known of them before he'd popped the question 8 months ago. Funny feeling rain can bring out. He put all the onus of his going down on his knee to the romantic weather and not his bravado. But then Emma had known him for 4 years so it didn't come as a surprise to her. In fact, he'd let her entertain the idea quite a few times.
It was taking ages for her to walk down the aisle. He felt a strong urge to go and shoot the band members in cold-blood. And without second thoughts at that. They'd made the tempo of the song a tad slow. Of course tad is a relative word and Jack knew relativity better than most. Here Comes The Bride, Here Comes The Bride!
"Yeah, well she's been coming for hours now!", he said to himself, loud enough for the Best-Man to hear it. Ralph was dressed smartly in his black tux. He found marriages very boring. When he wasn't standing at the altar waiting for his to-be-wife that is. He'd been married four times and was now seeing a brunette. A beautiful brunette at that. She looked much younger than she was. First look and only an insane would say she was 32. Ralph, of course, was insane. They struck a chord right away. It was hard not to see his charm and her beauty. They looked good together. They'd stay together for how long only time would tell.
"Really?? You're The Man!!!", Ralph quipped.
"Quiet You! This is a Church for God-sake!!"
"And I've seen it from the inside more than you have, you evil minded bull!"
"Bull-Shit"
"Quiet You! This is a Church for God-sake!!"
"Ralph! I appreciate your cheering me up, but SHUT-UP!"
"Excuse Me? But I've hardly said a word!"
"Not you Father! I'm sorry"
The crowd was having a good time by now. The crowd always had a good time for crowds are supposed to be sadists in their own right.
"Do we begin, son?"
"Yes, Father! As soon as you're ready"
"Very well then"
"We gather here to bless this....."
Jack was lost in his own world. He had never imagined in his wildest of dreams that he would fall so hopelessly in love with this really strange girl. She was a decently attractive girl, nothing much to write home about though. But such are circumstances. Men fall where men ought to rise and men rise where they ought to fall. For Jack, the descent had been listless at first and then it plummeted to the unthinkable depths so fast, it made him dizzy. Thankfully for him, Emma was there to hold him just when he was about to crash to the ground.
"Heh Heh"
He realised he'd laughed out too loud. Loud enough for others to hear. Now they were looking at him funny. It was funny, really. The priest had just about managed to ask him what he'd been waiting for to hear ever since he'd popped the Q 8 months ago.
"I, Jack Nicholas, take you, Emma McDonnell, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
The answer the priest had been expecting was far more serious than the 'heh heh' that he got instead.
He knew he'd goofed up and Emma would be furious, but he had to cover up. "Heh Heh, I've to actually say all that?" He tried to laugh it off. Of course that made the solemn affair all the more frivolous and trivial which didn't go down well with Emma.
"Of course, I Do!"
Emma had had enough of mockery for a day.
"Go to hell, you swine!", she blurted out as she resisted slapping him hard but failed miserably.
"She went away. Twice as fast as she'd appeared"
"No!!!! You can't run away from me! Bull-Shit!"
"Whats the matter honey? Are you all right? Bad Dream, was it?"
He startled himself and her by leaping straight to her arms.
"Yeah, was. Pretty Bad. Which is why I was wondering if I'd *really* known you for 4 years"
"How bad can it be Jack? I've been here with you all night! It can't get any worse than that, can it?"
He looked at her in the eyes and then kissed her gently.
Actions speak louder than words.
Labels:
Auguries Of Innocence,
Fiction,
WJME
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Past Revisited..!! (Or Alma Mater Revisited)
Funny thing memory is!
It can be good or bad and sometimes both simultaneously depending on how you want to remember it. And sometimes it can just be simply forgetful (not to be confused with forgettable, cause nothing here ought to be forgettable)!
I glanced at the big gate everytime I passed the impressive structure that was once my school. "This time I'll go see it from the inside!", I promised myself like I had a million times. Promises we make to ourselves are the ones that we break more often. But then Orkut Fortune did it for me. Orkut - one of those things in life that is just there for the heck of it. It serves no purpose and it's fortunes don't make much sense most of the times and when they do make sense - they're hardly accurate, but then again they're hardly supposed to make sense. There is no free lunch in the Universe. There are no free prophecies either for everything has its price. But lets not get side-tracked. Its hard not to get side-tracked, but we do our bit not to! "Promise Only What You Can Deliver!" it said. It had told that to me on occassions before this one too, but this one seemed appropriately time (and about time too!)
The day before yesterday, there was this occassion when my nephew was crying for his wishes weren't being fulfilled. So I took him for a walk. It was about 6 in the evening, but unusually dark for this time of the day. Not unusual for this place though, a little unusual for me. It was dark at this time of the day here for the sun set early here. First rays of the sunlight hit the horizon early too (about 5 O'clock)! And because he was still sobbing, I decided to take his mind off of his worries (no matter how trivial - worries are worries afterall)
"देखो बेटा, मैं यहाँ पढता था बचपन में। बहुत साल पहले।"
"Hmmm.."
I didn't take him inside then. I just promised him I'd take him there the next day. The marriage had been officially over, although a few rituals still remained but I had enough idle time at hand to do this stuff. In fact, I had nothing to do at all, barring a few chores here and there - I was officially the "Indian Idle"
I did take him inside the school yesterday in the evening at about quarter to 9. Told him a few anecdotes. Some funny and some not so funny, but he enjoyed all of them. Or atleast I hope he did.
Will share them here some other time.
Gotta go bathe now.
**corrections impending**
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Childhood Is Short (Maturity Is Forever)
"Shouldn't you be going to see the people who've just come to pay us a visit?", expecting an answer in the affirmative or an explanation at length.
"No."
The reply was terse and prompt. It summed up the way a little girl perceived things. Life is very simple and uncomplicated when you're young and naive. It has been very aptly put in the line, "Childhood is Short. Maturity is forever."
I think most of us realise this for a fact when we're at the threshold of maturity or unluckily for some, when they're well past it. Life has a funny way of teaching stuff. Some learn it the hard way and some the easy.
What do you call a person who doesn't learn his lessons no matter how many times life teaches him one?
"No."
The reply was terse and prompt. It summed up the way a little girl perceived things. Life is very simple and uncomplicated when you're young and naive. It has been very aptly put in the line, "Childhood is Short. Maturity is forever."
I think most of us realise this for a fact when we're at the threshold of maturity or unluckily for some, when they're well past it. Life has a funny way of teaching stuff. Some learn it the hard way and some the easy.
What do you call a person who doesn't learn his lessons no matter how many times life teaches him one?
Keep Walking..!!
"Late, late, late!!"
"Aapko Aapka Boss Pittayee Lagayega!", came the prompt response. All He could do was wince in pain at the prospect of it.
He rushed out of his room after having shut-down his laptop, like his tail was on fire. He didn't have the time to drink a glass of water that he thought he'd drink before he left for work. He stood in front of his niece and said, "Am leaving for work, Baby!"
"Yeah, go! Quick! You don't wanna piss your Boss off, do you?"
"No, I don't wish to!" He smiled.
"Hug?"
She squeezed him as hard as she could. He said, "I Love you, Beta. Love you sooooooooooooo much!"
He held his arms open as wide as they'd go.
"Theek Hai. I Love you a little too" She giggled.
She's already grown up, he thought and broke into laughter.
"Now go, go. go!!"
"Bye."
He rushed towards his aquarium, kissed his fishes goodbye and got outside, closing the door behind him. Once outside, he always felt unleashed. He quickened his pace. People always thought he was "going some place", for he always walked briskly. Slowing down his pace cramped his legs, or so he claimed for there had been instances when he'd strolled on the curb with dead slow pace (or so it felt) without cramping them up! In no time he was at the bus-stop. "Namaste, Sir!", he said as he shook hands all around. One of the few things that this job had tought him was being social. He never considered himself a social person. Recluse was the word he'd use often to describe himself. The wait was short, for he'd just about made it in time to catch the bus. Once on the bus, he felt bored. For sitting in the bus was as boring as sitting anywhere else with nothing to do. He slid the glass open to let fresh air gush inside. He usually did that for two particular reasons. The first, was to alleviate himself of all the sweating that might otherwise make his shirt soggy right from the start - not his idea of a good day. The second reason was to check the degree of his hair's cleaniness. The better washed they were, the more they fluttered in the breeze. He adored his hair, especially when they'd been soaked in conditioner for minutes that he wished were hours. Hair was the one thing that could decide his mood for the day. A bad hair-day invariably meant a bad work-day. It hardly took 15 minutes to reach his workplace, for the driver was in a hurry. They were generally in a hurry during that time of the day for that meant a really quick start to nap-time! CISF jawan got in the bus to check for people's identities. He thrust out his I-Card without looking at him, continuing to gaze outside at a particularly strange bird. This bird was just a normal bird, strange for it was nearly 10 in the evening and it apparently was still out. This one won't catch worms, unless it deprives itself of sleep. The bus moved languidly to the 2nd gate where everyone got down. He got down last and walked to the ACS turnstile. He put his card near the sensor which turned a bright red from its usual green. He put his finger on the finger-print reader and after a 2 second delay the sensor turned a bright green. He turned the thing over as he walked through it. As soon as he was on the other side of the turnstile, he waved to his friend, had a quick glance at the flare burning in the distance and quickened his pace as he now headed straight for his Control Room. He saw no one ahead of him. Made him feel better for he wouldn't have to slow down for them and offer a smile. More the people, the more time he'd take to reach his destination. Today was one of those days when he saw no one in front of him. He felt today was gonna be a good work-day.
He kept walking.
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